Szaszi Bene

It has been a year since I last worte on this blog. I gave time to see weather I can do this or not. I still have got no idea. Anyway I gave it a year, but I did not do anyhting about it. I am not afraid of 'blogs' anymore, let's see if I keep up writing and expressing myself. You see it takes a really long time untill I get use to things. I am a slow starter, late bloomer, somewhat introvert. But this is a new strat, a new hope for succes and fear of failure. We will see what the future holds.  

I was wondering today, in a melancholic way, why is it so difficult to carry other peoples pain than our own? You see, we go through rough paches in our lives, and to carry my own pain, hurt, sickness is easier than those around me. I cannot stand seeing someone suffer and know that I am not able to do anything about it. It hurts more to see the one you love in pain than to feel the pain myslef. It's weird how we are made to be like this. Maybe this what my friend ment in his post ''when you can't be with the one you love..." . Not being able to be there for the one you love. In her deepest hurt, pain and suffering. At the same time this is what exactly love is. Loving her. Nothing elese, no pretentions, no alteriour motives, loving her for her sake. Maybe this kind of love brings light into dark places, it opens possibilities that were never there. It brings prayer to my mouth like a strange song I never sang or heard. So when you cant be with the one you love, pray for the one you love. I started with doubt and end in worship. Is this the way of pain my, hers, ours: from doubt to worship?

I was trying to write a blog message from my mobile but it did not work. I busted my fingers for nothing. Anyway here I am writing and wondering. Will anyone read this or will it be only just anothers attempt to live out my selfish desires and think that acctually someone is interested in a blog called Szaszi's blog here on vox. But I do have a voice, a written voice and I want to shout it out, mybe someone might hear me. Here I am. I am Szaszi, live in Amstelveen, Holland, study, work, serve, think, kook, eat, socialise, love, plays, watches, bikes, walks, sits, stands... and the list just goes on with the rest of the verbs. Later more photos, thoughts, blogs and posts with various themes and interests, like theology, footbal, love life, kooking and many more. Later.